"Beware lest in your anxiety to avoid war you obtain a master." -Demosthenes

Demosthenes (384-322 BC) was a Greek orater who made eloquent appeals for his countrymen to unite and preserve their freedom.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Bonfire of the Vanities #124

Bonfire of the Vanities #124 - in the grand tradition of, um, setting stuff ablaze. (Photo from The Burning Man Festival 2005 - Black Rock Desert, Nevada).

Welcome to Bonfire of the Vanities #124 - THE place for your most putrid posts from the past week.

As Kevin says: "Who says bloggers are self absorbed? Prove them wrong by mocking yourself!"

Indeed. So - in that spirit - let's set the torch to the virtual kindling...

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First up - from the blog tenderly named Free Money Finance - is the missive, "New-car Smell is Going Away: It's No Good for You." Well, something smells, anyway. Or, as FMF puts it: "I hated this post when I wrote it and wrote it anyway! Besides, who really cares? Put it in the fire!!!!" Indeed, FMF, indeed.

Second to the plate - Gnotalex of Dodgeblogium submits the
"Doozer Knitting Song" - which asks the musical question: "Linen guts?"

Batting third, Two Dogs of Mean Ol' Meany opines "I Mean Head So Bad, It's Criminal?" - with which I suppose we all can relate. Two Dogs merely adds: "Nary a comment. 'Nuff said?"

Batting clean-up, we have Jim "Suldog" Sullivan of Suldog-O-Rama with the plaintiff refrain: "5 Things I'd Like To Do Before I Die." Jim "Suldog" Sullivan adds: "I've actually gone back and forth with myself over whether this is one of my best posts or one of my worst. In any case, it's relatively short."

Batting fifth, we have Beth of My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy with the historical epic: "The T-Shirt Wars" - with the footnote: " can torch it because I link favorably to a lefty blogger in it, I guess!"

Batting sixth, we have Josh of Peakah's Pub with "What a Difference a Year Makes." Josh candidly admits: "There's nothing worse than rehashing one-year old posts that no one read the first time only because they are a year old... you know what... I don't care! ...I'm narcissistic enough to repost unread posts." Welcome to the blogosphere, young man!

Batting seventh, we have Spirit Fingers of Give me spirit fingers dammit! - the self-proclaimed "Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough" - with "Another year of sexy." Spirit Fingers thankfully records for posterity this pivotal event in world history: "A model parades in front of street children, some of whom are sniffing glue, in the drug-infested 'Barrio Triste' (Sad Neighborhood) in downtown Medellin in Colombia November 7, 2005. The event was organised to entertain the children by a member of a local charity that helps children in Barrio Triste by providing food, clothes and cleaning facilities." Ah, to be young.

Batting eighth, we have Sinner of 7 Deadly Sins with the expose: "Anger: Law Enforcement." Sinner adds the sage advice: "Don't blog angry." But really - is there any other way?

Batting ninth, we have MaryHunter of TMH's Bacon Bits with the query: "Kerry’s 180: Someone Stealing His Thunder?" MaryHunter - who gives us a glimpse at the exciting world of blogging - adds: "This is what happens when you wait until far too late in the day to go up with a blogburst post. No sir, I don't like it." Presumably, MaryHunter does not like green eggs and ham either.

Batting, er, tenth (damned mixed metaphors!) we have Laurence Simon of The IFOC News with a piece of stunning reporting which the mainstream media won't touch: "Rice Says Al-Qaida State Will Help American Security." I, of course, have always maintained that our radical Mormon fundamentalists would make quick work of our radical Muslim fundamentalist problem. And they'd have a nice pot-luck supper for us the very next day! But does anyone listen?

Batting eleventh (ahem), we have Radio Dave of Multiple Mentality with the wistful post: "Sad" - in which our hero "discusses the different levels of geekiness to which he ascribes himself." Awwww - buck up little soldier - we love you dude!... or something.

Batting twelfth (this being the first time these two words were ever uttered together), we have Peace Moonbeam of the aptly named Peace Moonbeam Chronicles with some actual original reporting from Paris, France: "Saving France With Peace Moonbeam". I like this post so much, I'll even skip the snide comments! Peace out! (Sorry - I couldn't help it).

Batting thirteenth (I'm starting to actually like the sound of it), we have Mark A. Rayner of The Skwib with some helpful hints for the lovelorn: "Ask General Kang: I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. How do I know for sure?" Oh, how does one know, Mark ... how does one know? Mark adds: "I don't know. These General Kang advice columns can veer into some pretty strange territory -- like ripping off both Kurt Vonnegut and Star Trek (II, The Wrath of Khan) in the same post." To which I can only add ... it's all good, dude.

Batting fourteenth (weeeeee!), we have Mog of Mind of Mog with an exciting tale ripped right from today's headlines: "Stolen." Mog adds: "Right now this is my worst, most bonfire worthy post, perhaps not for quality of writing, but from the content - getting one's car stolen sucks." Well, that all depends on one's point-of-view, now doesn't it sweetie?...

Batting fifteenth (ok - I'm starting to feel ill now...), we have Elisson of Blog d'Elisson with that Mel Gibson classic: "The Year of Living Penetratedly." Elisson adds: "Part of the joy of getting older: having people Invade your Personal Space ... 'I gave at the orifice.'" Dude - stop your whining and get me those TPS reports.

Batting sweet sixteenth we have Kevin of technogypsy with "Diwali, China and Indian Woman," with this description: "Lust as a part of international relations...and why I sleep in the garage these days." Don't worry, Kev - we've all been there, brother. That's why God made cable. Or, as Sam Kinnison said, if you've been married, you blow the Devil's whole routine: "Aaaaarggghhhhhhh!!!...... oh've been married?....oh crap, ok, come on in....let me take this stuff off..."

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Whew! That's it! Thanks to all the bloggers for the crappy entries this week! And - in all seriousness (sorry) - I'm glad to discover a bunch of cool new blogs. The blogosphere: is there anything it can't do?

Please note that this little blog of mine is on blogger because I'm a cheap bastard. Blogger does not do trackbacks. So if you're looking for a trackback ping, don't hold your breath. Or do - and lift one foot while your at it.

Next week, Bonfire of the Vanities #125 will be at Chateau d'If.

Thanks to Kevin of Wizbang.

Peace out! ... and remember: right wing conspiracies can be awful nice.

...and the tradition lives on... (Photo from Lewes Bonfire Night 2005 - Lewes, Sussex County, England).


  • At 11:49 AM, Blogger Elisson said…

    Good show, Demo!

    I've posted a link.

  • At 12:46 PM, Blogger Peakah said…

    Thanks Dem!! Nice work... I realize that I have a lot to learn still...

  • At 8:31 PM, Blogger nikita demosthenes said…

    thanks guys. in the words of the inimitable Lileks, it was just "dashed-off tripe"...

    p.s. - nice blogs - i have a bunch to add to my blogroll now!


  • At 12:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Looking forward to your arrival next week.

    -- dantes


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